[WSMDiscuss] When will We care about domestic violence?

[Tord Björk]

Thankyou for this important post
Tord Björk

email: tord.bjork at gmail.com, skype: tordbjork, tel: +46 (0)722 15 16 90
address: Götgatan 7 A, 29133 Kristianstad, Sweden



On Mon, May 18, 2020 at 4:33 AM Brian K Murphy <brian at radicalroad.com>
wrote:

>
> https://www.nybooks.com/articles/2020/05/28/when-will-we-care-about-domestic-violence/
>
> When Will We Care About Domestic Violence?
>
>  by Caroline Fraser, *The New York Review of Books*, Issue dated May 28,
> 2020
>
> As countries around the world have tracked Covid-19, they’ve seen a sharp
> spike in another scourge, one of far longer duration and with no known
> cure: domestic violence. In the last weeks and months, confinement
> necessitated by the pandemic has caused an increase in calls to police and
> crisis centers, reporting severe beatings and murder-suicides in the home.
>
> At the beginning of April, for example, in a Chicago suburb, a
> fifty-four-year-old man convinced that his girlfriend had contracted the
> virus (she had not) shot her in the head, then killed himself. In the US,
> calls are pouring into the National Domestic Violence Hotline, whose chief
> executive told *The New York Times*, “We’re having really difficult
> conversations,” advising women to sleep in their cars to escape violent
> partners and, during arguments, to stay out of dangerous spaces, such as
> kitchens and bathrooms.
>
> In the UK, at least sixteen domestic abuse killings of women and children
> occurred during a three-week period from late March to mid-April, double
> the average. The Canadian Women’s Foundation has been circulating a
> one-handed signal—fingers entrapping a thumb—for women to use on video
> calls to silently alert authorities that they need help. A quarantined
> woman in China told the *Times *that her husband beat her with a metal
> high chair while she was holding their infant, until she had no feeling in
> one leg. A health care worker in Herat, Afghanistan—a country where more
> than half of all women experience domestic abuse in their lifetime—reports
> that she has lost touch with many victims in quarantine. She fears for
> their lives.
>
> Spain has seen an 18 percent rise in calls to hotlines; the UK, 20
> percent. French police have reported a 30 percent rise in calls. In Italy,
> hotel rooms had to be requisitioned when shelters were shut down. The
> United Nations has called for governments to “put women’s safety first.”
>
> But that has never happened in any country, crisis or no crisis. As Rachel
> Louise Snyder reveals in her invaluable, deeply reported book* No Visible
> Bruises: What We Don’t Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us*, the
> prevalence of domestic violence is nothing new. Household barbarity is not
> only a “global health problem of epidemic proportions,” according to the
> World Health Organization, it is also the bare twisted root from which
> other violence in American society stems, from school shootings to mass
> murder.
>
> Within the first few pages, you will learn that such violence is not an
> “unfortunate fate for the unlucky few.” In fact:
>
> • Each day, 137 women are killed throughout the world by domestic partners
> or “familial violence.”
>
> • There are more than a dozen countries where violence against a spouse is
> legal.
>
> • In 2017, 50,000 women were killed worldwide by partners or family
> members. Or as Snyder emphasizes, “*Fifty thousand women*.” Those are
> global pandemic numbers.
>
> • Fifty American women are shot and killed every month by “intimate
> partners.”
>
> • Between 2000 and 2006, there were at least 10,600 domestic homicides in
> the US. During the same period, 3,200 American soldiers died in Iraq and
> Afghanistan.
>
> • In the US, twenty people “are assaulted *every minute* by their
> partners.”
>
> • Homicide is the leading cause of death for young African-American women;
> domestic violence the second most common for all African-American women;
> the third most common for Native American women; the seventh for Caucasian
> women.
>
> • Homicide is the leading cause of mortality among pregnant women in
> several cities and states, including New York City, Chicago, and Maryland.
>
> • 54 percent of mass shootings in the US involved domestic violence.
>
> Snyder’s discussion of that last statistic, regarding mass shootings, is
> particularly astonishing, drawn from a 2017 report by the activist group
> Everytown for Gun Safety. Guns are a huge part of the problem, and Snyder
> is unsparing on that score. But it is revelatory to learn that many
> notorious mass shootings originated in acts of domestic violence.
>
> According to one expert, more than half of mass shootings are, in fact,
> “extreme incidents” of such brutality, including Charles Whitman’s 1966
> sniper attack at the University of Texas at Austin that killed sixteen: his
> spree began the night before, with the murder of his wife and mother. John
> Allen Muhammad’s 2002 trail of terror, culminating in shootings in
> Virginia, Maryland, and Washington, D.C., began in Washington State, where
> he had long abused his wife. Omar Mateen, who shot and killed forty-nine
> people at an Orlando nightclub in 2016, was in the habit of beating and
> strangling his wife; had he been charged with and convicted of that, the
> other attack might never have occurred. Adam Lanza killed his mother before
> moving on to murder twenty-six children and teachers at Sandy Hook
> Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut; a document was later found on
> his computer defining women as “selfish.” And on and on and on.
>
> This April, in Nova Scotia, the largest mass shooting in Canadian history
> began with a domestic abuse assault.
>
> Among the persistent themes of *No Visible Bruises* is the basic need for
> society to grasp the physical, emotional, and generational toll of domestic
> violence. The economic cost is known: $3.6 trillion in the US, according to
> the *American Journal of Preventive Medicine*, including $2 trillion in
> medical expenses and $73 billion in criminal justice and court costs.
>
> Yet however widespread and homicidal, however entrenched in every class
> and stratum, from the most disadvantaged to the highest officials in the
> land, its devastation is still overlooked. Snyder laments the very name it
> goes by, which can seem to trivialize the issue, making it possible for
> officials to dismiss “domestic” crimes casually, as a mere nuisance,
> implying that “assaults from a family member deserve lesser attention than
> those of a stranger.” Other terms include “intimate partner violence” or
> “intimate partner terrorism,” which is a bit more like it.
>
> Describing the rampages of one former offender, Snyder calls him “a
> domestic terrorist.” That would be Jimmy Espinoza, a former San Francisco
> pimp and gang member who served his time and is now a graduate and group
> leader of the Resolve to Stop the Violence Project (RSVP), a county jail
> program aimed at rehabilitation.
>
> “Terrorist” is a polite version of what Espinoza calls himself. Owning up
> to his long history of abuse, he’s more apt to identify as a
> “bottom-feeder” or a “low-life motherfucker.” Espinoza offers a fascinating
> glimpse into the mind of the perpetrator, both his own mind and those of
> the men he’s training, teaching them how to recognize the ways in which
> they’ve bullied, blamed, demeaned, and tormented the women in their lives,
> not simply through brute force but also through browbeating, their abusive
> narcissism evident in everyday language.
>
> He tells them to watch out for words such as “just,” “if,” and “but,” as
> in “I just pushed her a little. She’s overreacting.” He forces them to
> realize that self-control will be a struggle every day, comparable to
> dealing with addiction; he urges them to confront the fact that many were
> themselves sexually assaulted as children. (Fifty percent of boys who grew
> up in foster care suffered such abuse; an estimated 12 percent of those in
> county jails have as well.)
>
> RSVP has posted impressive statistics: 80 percent of inmates who spent
> time in the program have lower recidivism rates for violent crimes. Yet
> even Espinoza backslides, on one occasion disappearing for a time back into
> narcotics and then turning to rehab. He refuses to talk to Snyder further
> when he learns she’s interviewing his former girlfriend, Kelly, who was
> twice kidnapped and held by him, once with a knife and once, for days, at
> gunpoint.
>
> After she escaped the first time and ran to a police station, the cops
> told her to go back and retrieve the knife for evidence. She declined.
> Kelly, who has a child with Espinoza, tells Snyder that she believes he has
> changed his abusive behavior but trusts him only so far. She says, “I will
> never allow myself to be alone with Jimmy again in my life.” While gun
> crimes would be preventable with sane regulations, the larger unanswered
> question that hangs over Espinoza’s story and the book as a whole is: Is
> violence preventable?
>
> The theme of *No Visible Bruises* is that the male of the species is far
> and away deadlier than the female. As Hamish Sinclair, a cofounder of RSVP
> who has dedicated himself to grappling with the problem, puts it:
>
> Every commonly available…statistic, and every anecdotal account about
> domestic and all other kinds of violence throughout the United States and
> around the world, point clearly to the fact that men almost monopolize all
> sectors of violence perpetration.
>
> Snyder isn’t satisfied even with that, writing, “It is *men* who are
> violent. It is *men* who perpetrate the majority of the world’s violence,
> whether that violence is domestic abuse or war,” an assertion validated by
> the UN’s Office on Drugs and Crime, which has calculated that an average of
> 95 percent of those convicted of homicide are men.
>
> In addition to school shootings and mass murders, we have “gang warfare,
> murder-suicides and familicides and matricides and even genocides: all men.”
>
> Therefore it’s men, she says, who are going to have to “learn
> non-violence.”
>
> Any attempt to describe violence in a non-gendered way is, according to
> Sinclair, itself a form of “meta-violence…aiding and abetting” denial of
> the problem, amounting to “a careful attempt not to see this crucial piece
> of evidence,” distorting attempts to deal with it.
>
> “Domestic violence is like no other crime,” Snyder writes, and by the time
> you finish this book, you will believe it.
>
> Snyder begins with the harrowing story of Michelle Monson Mosure, a woman
> in Billings, Montana. As in so many such accounts, a gun was involved, and
> as the author notes later, “It is surely no coincidence that the states
> with the highest number of guns per capita also happen to have the highest
> rates of domestic violence homicide.” Montana is among them.1
>
> Michelle met Rocky Mosure when she was fourteen and he was twenty-four.
> Nicknamed after Rocky Marciano, the boxer, he was described by those who
> knew him as either “charming or manipulative,” but whatever charm he may
> have had remains elusive. He began binge drinking and shoplifting at
> twelve. Although he grew up in a family and eventually had counseling for
> his troubles, he spent time in a home for “troubled boys” and eventually
> dropped out of school. As an adult he worked on oilfield crews and was
> arrested on a drug charge in Texas. Within two or three days of meeting
> him, Michelle believed herself to be in love; soon she was pregnant. Her
> mother, Sally, threatened to have him arrested for statutory rape, but
> Michelle said she would retaliate by running away with boyfriend and baby
> and never seeing her family again.
>
> Sally hoped that Rocky would grow bored with his young conquest and
> responsibilities, but he did not. Michelle was fifteen when she gave birth
> to Kristy in 1994; a year later the couple had another child, Kyle. As
> Rocky became more deeply addicted to meth (eventually involving Michelle’s
> younger sister, Melanie, in drug dealing and addiction as well), he grew
> more violently attached. Michelle stubbornly succeeded in receiving her
> high school diploma, even while caring for her babies, but Rocky, only
> sporadically employed in construction, spent his time controlling her. He
> didn’t want her to work, didn’t want her to go back to school to become a
> nurse, and discouraged her from seeing family and friends. Once, after
> Michelle sought treatment for depression, he threw away her medication.
> Nonetheless, she persevered in putting together what might have been an
> independent life for herself and her children, secretly putting a down
> payment on a house her father had built. She married Rocky eight years
> after they met, only when it became clear that she could not otherwise
> qualify for financial aid for college. After she enrolled, Rocky began
> stalking her whenever she went to classes.
>
> Her family knew little of the abuse that had been taking place until a
> series of fateful events unfolded, all too rapidly, in the fall of 2001.
> First, Michelle began to suspect that Rocky was having an affair, a belief
> that spurred her to begin planning her escape. One day in September,
> Michelle brought the two children, aged seven and six, to stay at her
> mother’s house while she went to tell Rocky that she was leaving. She
> warned her mother that if he showed up she was not to let him take the
> kids. Less than two hours later he broke a window in Sally’s back door and
> crawled through, spattering blood, grabbing Sally by the neck as she tried
> to shield the children, and shoving and injuring Michelle’s pregnant
> sister. He drove off with Kristy. As Sally saw the children’s numb reaction
> to his violence, she realized they had not only seen it before, they were
> habituated to it.
>
> Only now did Michelle begin to share with her mother and sisters details
> of what she had endured: Rocky had beaten her in front of the children,
> threatened to shoot them with her grandfather’s rifle, and often took the
> kids and disappeared for long periods of time. She described her raw terror
> when he’d acquired a rattlesnake, keeping it in a cage in the living room
> and telling her he’d put it in her bed when she was asleep.
>
> After his assault on her mother, Michelle filed for a restraining order,
> and Rocky was arrested. The police, however, were “uninterested,” as Sally
> put it, charging him only with misdemeanor criminal mischief, including
> nothing about the injuries suffered by the women in the report filed. Sally
> urged her daughter to write down a record of his abuse, and she did. But
> two days later, Michelle learned that Rocky’s parents had bailed him out of
> jail. She immediately and frantically recanted her affidavit, pleading with
> authorities to drop the restraining order. This would prove to be a
> critical juncture, when obvious warning signs were missed by police and
> errors were committed in the charging paperwork by the district attorney’s
> office.
>
> Rocky then returned home, and he and Michelle cut off most contact with
> both of their families, although they were not reconciled. According to a
> friend, Michelle was still intent on leaving. But on Monday, November 19,
> 2001, the week of Thanksgiving, Rocky Mosure bought a .45-caliber pistol
> through an ad in the *Thrifty Nickel*, telling the seller he was “getting
> the gun for his wife.” He wasn’t exactly lying. Later that day, after
> Michelle had collected the kids from school, he pushed a wad of chewing gum
> into the ignition of her car so she couldn’t get away. Then he dragged her
> down the stairs to the basement and shot her four times in front of Kristy
> and Kyle, whom he caught and shot in the head. To make it look like an
> accident, he started a fire in the house that smoldered for hours but
> eventually burned out. No one in the neighborhood heard shots or smelled
> smoke. At some point, he shot himself. The bodies were discovered by her
> parents the following day. Michelle was twenty-three.
>
> Sometime during the last days of Michelle’s life, Alyssa, her older
> sister, thought, “Someone needs to kill [Rocky] because he’s going to kill
> her.” But when a woman kills her abuser, the woman pays, self-defense being
> often reserved for men, as recent investigations in *The New Yorker* (one
> by Snyder herself) have shown.2 No one knows how many women in prison are
> there because they killed their abusers, but a 2005 New York Department of
> Corrections study cited by Snyder found that 67 percent of women who kill
> partners “had been abused by their victim.”
>
> The murders of Michelle Mosure and her children caused outrage and
> soul-searching in Billings and around the state, where the then governor,
> Judy Martz (still the only woman to have held the office in Montana), had
> previously made this archaic remark to a Butte business group: “My husband
> has never battered me, but then again, I’ve never given him a reason to.”
>
> The murders gave rise to the state’s Domestic Violence Fatality Review
> Commission, an effort to intensively research and learn from grievous
> failures of the criminal justice system. The Mosure case was the first in
> the state subjected to such analysis, in which team members (including the
> state’s attorney general, a judge, law enforcement officials, women’s
> advocates, and a pastor) compile background on victim and perpetrator and a
> detailed timeline of the case, trying to identify gaps in the system as
> well as legal points of intervention and tools that might be used to
> protect victims. Several countries and more than forty states now have such
> teams, and the data have helped save lives.
>
> Snyder recounts the Mosure story in part to highlight gains made by
> programs like this, which have gradually begun to recast the all-too-common
> narrative of abuse, based on the world-weary assumptions of the criminal
> justice system.
>
> It used to be taken for granted that women reporting domestic crimes were
> apt to be unreliable or hysterical, and likely to change their stories, as
> Michelle did, leading to the dismissal of criminal charges and restraining
> orders. Indeed, on average it may take women seven tries to leave their
> abusers—and in 70 percent of court cases, victims refuse to testify—but
> Snyder argues decisively that recanting testimony has long been “profoundly
> misunderstood.”
>
> Such reversals, she says, represent not a failure of character or will,
> but rather victims’ justifiable fear that the system cannot protect them.
> When Michelle Mosure learned that her husband had been bailed out of jail,
> she knew she had to negotiate the terms of her life and her children’s
> lives with her abuser, renouncing her own statement in a desperate, if
> failed, bid to save them all. Instead of the inevitable query about why
> women stay in abusive relationships, a far more relevant, constructive
> question is now being posed by advocates: “How do we protect this person?”
>
> Beginning with a “no blame, no shame” attitude and borrowing the intensive
> accident investigations of the National Transportation Safety Board as a
> model, data-driven tools such as fatality reviews and a written
> questionnaire called the “Danger Assessment” have upended misogynistic
> assumptions.
>
> Asking victims to categorize their abuse, the Danger Assessment enables
> nurses, counselors, police, prosecutors, judges, and others to identify
> women most at risk of being killed by their partners. Its scoring system
> makes for grim reading. Victims are asked to assess and classify the
> attacks that led to their injuries, beginning with slapping and pushing;
> proceeding to punching, kicking, and beating (“severe contusions, burns,
> broken bones”); and culminating with the use of weapons.3
>
> As Snyder points out, the high-risk factors in the Danger Assessment read
> like a summary of Michelle Mosure’s life, beginning with an impulsive,
> love-at-first-sight courtship and moving on through the abuser’s control of
> everyday activities, constant jealousy, drug abuse and heavy drinking,
> violence and threats of violence, and, most menacing of all, the presence
> of a gun in the home.
>
> Both in the Danger Assessment and in other “Lethality Assessment” models,
> particular attention is now being paid to strangling, identified as a
> potent signal that the situation is leading to murder.
>
> Depending on how far it goes, the survivor may not remember the event
> accurately or at all. Only a small percentage of such attacks leave visible
> marks, but they can cut off oxygen to the brain, causing the confusion,
> uncontrollable fear, and changeable behavior that often cause police to
> disregard victim accounts.
>
> Many survivors may also show impaired judgment from blunt trauma to the
> head, resulting in the most grotesque irony of all: because victims are so
> physically and emotionally damaged—their lives so “messy,” afflicted often
> by extreme poverty, drug addiction, and mental-health issues—they’re less
> “likable” than “the average batterer,” according to David Adams, leader of
> another abuse intervention program.
>
> Our society, Adams says, loves abusers, who can be charming, charismatic,
> and successful, beloved by institutions dedicated to elevating male
> authority and vanity, such as the National Football League and the Catholic
> Church. They’re all around us, he says, and “they’re clustered at the top.”
>
> The bipartisan passage of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) in 1994,
> cosponsored by Senators Joe Biden and Orrin Hatch and signed into law by
> Bill Clinton, was meant to establish a bulwark against violence in the
> home, and it did, reducing annual rates of domestic violence by 64 percent
> between 1993 and 2010.
>
> It originally provided more than $1.5 billion to support the investigation
> and prosecution of violent crimes against women, imposed mandatory
> restitution on convicted abusers, and funded grants for enforcement of
> protection orders and the creation of transitional housing for victims.
> Those grants have served victims across a range of groups, from Native
> American and rural women to elderly and disabled victims.
>
> Bipartisan majorities supported the act’s reauthorization in 2000 and
> 2005, but in 2012 Republicans attacked it, objecting to protections for
> those in same-sex relationships and aid to victims who were undocumented
> immigrants. Nonetheless, it was reauthorized in 2013, and Obama signed it
> into law.
>
> Under Trump, however, the VAWA expired during the government shutdown of
> 2018–2019. The House reauthorized it in April 2019, revising it to close
> the “boyfriend loophole” with language aimed at preventing anyone (not just
> spouses or partners living with a victim) convicted of domestic violence or
> stalking from possessing firearms.
>
> But since then, it has languished in Mitch McConnell’s Senate, opposed by
> the National Rifle Association. On December 9, 2019, the Houston police
> chief, Art Acevedo, lashed out at the Senate and the NRA before attending
> the funeral of a thirty-two-year-old sergeant shot and killed in the line
> of duty by the boyfriend of a domestic violence victim.
>
> Of McConnell and Texas senators Ted Cruz and John Cornyn, Acevedo said, “I
> don’t want to see their little smug faces [talking] about how much they
> care about law enforcement when I’m burying a sergeant because they don’t
> want to piss off the NRA. Make up your minds. Whose side are you on?”
>
> Apparently, GOP senators have done so, introducing their own version of
> the bill with the “boyfriend loophole” intact.
>
> Snyder says, “I want to believe all this is making a difference,” citing
> improvements in awareness and attitudes arising from the Me Too movement,
> enlightened police departments empowering female cops who specialize in
> working with victims, prosecutors demanding better documentation of
> domestic abuse (so that cases needn’t rely solely on victims’ testimony),
> and judges authorizing “preventive detention” to keep abusers locked up for
> a few days, long enough for victims to find safety. That last measure alone
> might have saved the lives of Michelle Mosure and her children.
>
> Yet Snyder’s skepticism is also clear, especially in her examination of
> the complex history of women’s shelters. While they’ve saved thousands, she
> says, they have done so at a profoundly disruptive cost to victims, forcing
> them to disappear from their own lives by agreeing to fill an opening at a
> shelter that may be hundreds of miles away, leaving jobs, families,
> neighborhoods, and friends, and removing their children from schools.
>
> That’s a kind of “ticket to welfare,” and may also lead, in some
> circumstances, to homelessness. Some well-funded programs have become
> increasingly sophisticated, offering support services for housing,
> employment, health care, and treatment for addiction. Yet while concluding
> that the national patchwork of women’s shelters is an invaluable component
> for saving those endangered, she finds it “an abysmal fix” that places the
> onus on the victim, not the perpetrator. Far better to identify abuse
> earlier, prosecutors have determined, at the misdemeanor stage, before it
> escalates. That, too, has reduced fatalities.
>
> But in a society flush with firearms, there’s only so much that can be
> done. Snyder is unsparing on the role of guns in our culture, acknowledging
> that the US is “the most dangerous developed country in the world for
> women.”
>
> The most vivid characters in her narrative are all dead—women who lost
> their lives, most to gun violence. Yet she also paints an indelible scene
> of a meeting of the Montana domestic violence review team. There, a retired
> nurse sat knitting throughout, an implacably pacifist Madame Defarge who
> repeatedly pushed her fellow participants, largely men, to recognize what
> was staring them in the face: “Guns, guns, guns,” she said. “Get rid of the
> guns.”
>
> The cops laughed, saying, “This is Montana.” She said, “So what?!”
> Recalling this scene, Snyder, who has a gift for clarity, asks, “Why are
> our guns more important to us than our citizens?”
>
> Certainly, guns are a documented evil, but it’s not just weapons. Four
> hundred years ago, Shakespeare ran his own danger assessment on Desdemona,
> another young woman who fell into a too rapid courtship with a jealous,
> controlling man.
>
> For centuries, men without even the gravitas or tragic flaws of Othello,
> acting on their ire, have been saying, “I’ll tear her all to pieces,” and
> doing it, too, with their bare hands. Will they ever stop?
> **********
>
>    1.
>
> *Notes*
>
>
>    1. 1  The others are South Carolina, Tennessee, Nevada, Louisiana,
>    Alaska, Arkansas, and Missouri. ↩
>    2. 2  See Rachel Louise Snyder, “When Can a Woman Who Kills Her Abuser
>    Claim Self-Defense?,” *The New Yorker*, December 20, 2019; and
>    Elizabeth Flock, “How Far Can Abused Women Go to Protect Themselves?,” *The
>    New Yorker*, January 13, 2020. ↩
>    3. 3 Originally devised by Dr. Jacquelyn Campbell, an associate dean
>    at the Johns Hopkins School of Nursing, the Danger Assessment can be found
>    at ncdsv.org/images/DANGERASSESSMENT.pdf. ↩
>
>
> *See also:*
>
> *Men must speakby Brian K Murphy | Murphy's Log | 28 April 2020Read
> here: https://murphyslog.ca/2020/04/29/men-must-speak/
> <https://murphyslog.ca/2020/04/29/men-must-speak/>*
>
> *Violence against women must not be glossed over*
> by Donna F. Johnson, *Edmonton Journal*, May 13, 2020
> Read here:
>
> https://edmontonjournal.com/opinion/columnists/opinion-violence-against-women-must-not-be-glossed-over/
>
> **********
>
>
>
>
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